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When Isolation is Necessary

If you think you’re lonely now, wait until you find yourself in yet another unfulfilled relationship because you were too pussy to heal. 

I apologize for the first line having to be so harsh but I am sick and tired of scrolling my timeline reading, “pick me” post after “pick me” post. It’s as if everyone is subliminally stating what makes them worthy of love through memes and rants about the opposite sexes and I’m just really wondering why no one has yet to pick THEMSELVES. Maybe you have picked yourself and if so, just go ahead and click on out of this tea, this isn’t your cup this week. I know that my spirit does not feel compelled to give a message however unless there is a large amount of souls that need to receive it. I talk a lot about codependency because it resonates with my personal journey. As I learn more about how codependency is developed and fostered, I am able to CLEARLY spot the signs within my brothers and sisters.  With that being said, here’s a list of signs that you are codependent af and that you need to put your phone down, call on your spirit guides, and get to healing yourself.

-          You betray your own boundaries to keep others in your life

-          You don’t even know your own boundaries

-          You ignore clear signs that someone does not meet your needs

-          You give others too many chances to meet your needs

-          Being in a relationship makes you feel more at ease

-          Being single makes you feel lonely and anxious

-          You jump from one relationship to the next to fill the void

-          You feel like something is wrong with you because you don’t have a lot of friends

-          If that person does not text/call you back you are bothered

-          Your decisions are based off of what other people will think about you

-          You neglect your inner work schedule to tend to outside forces

-          Simply put, you do not put YOU first

This list is hashed out in my book, “She Died to Live”, coming 2020 but the above lines cover the basics for now. So talk to yourself for a second. Did anything on that list resonate with you? Yes? Why do you make the choice to live like this beloved? Why should your mood be altered by someone not texting back? Why should your whole world end because someone you loved walked out of it? Why do you need other people to tell you how dope you are for you to actually believe it?

Let me tell you something, the only way to feel that love you keep wanting to feel from someone else is to give it to yourself. This sounds cliché as hell I know, but it’s the God honest truth. Can you imagine living a life where its instinct for you to check in with yourself before you do anyone else? Can you imagine being able to love others regardless of whether or not they love you back?  No? Chances are your codependent and until you just admit it, you’ll be reliving the same experiences for the rest of your life.

Being in a relationship that seems to be going great does not make you safe because the universe is always going to mirror back to you who you REALLY are.  I don’t mean to be negative nancy but if it hasn’t started raining yet, go ahead and get your umbrella now if you choose to ignore this message. If you are in a relationship and you want to heal your codependency you have to let your partner know, “hey I love you, but you loving me does not dictate how I love me. I am going to be taking some time for myself and I need your support at this time”. This DOES NOT mean you’re moving out or even distancing yourself, just that you’re making YOU a priority and no-one else. If your partner catches an attitude you’re probably not with the right person and starting the journey to healing your codependency will help you to become strong enough to come to terms with that.

You deserve the life you see in your head but you won’t be getting it if you live your life seeking love and approval from people, places, and things that are outside of yourself. This is my challenge to you. If you think you might have codependency issues I am challenging you to go into isolation for as long as it takes for you not to feel like you need anybody. All you NEED is yourself and your spirit guides. Anyone or anything else is an added benefit that BETTER be adding to your life, not subtracting or simply taking up space. This does not mean shut the world out, but prioritize yourself. This healing stuff is very hard once you get passed the part where you admit your problems because now that you know better, you must do better or stay stagnant for the rest of your life. Do you love the person you are right now? If the answer is no, get to work on yourself. It is hard in the beginning but once you get over the hump you’ll be just fine.

Take me for example. I’ve had to put a pause on romantic pursuits to take this journey within and at first I was very sad about having to live a lonely life until I kept going and realized, hey …. Imani is pretty damn dope! She’s always finding really cool places to connect to source, and she’s really good at consoling herself when nobody is around to call.  After I was left out in the cold by the ones I thought would be there to console me through tough times, I learned to console myself, and then I learned to stop even calling on people, just my spirit guides. Spending this time alone has honestly become addicting. I never thought going within would help me live my best life but it has. I’m out here booking trips, spa sessions, and therapy sessions all in the name of self-care and I’m not even thinking twice about it. I’ll be in Miami this weekend as I type this getting some loving from my family. Old Imani wouldn’t think twice about booking a flight ANYWHERE unless she had a sidekick coming along. Not healed Imani however.

Because I do crave a love so deep and pure that there will be no question he is my twin flame, I have to just sit still and be confident that what I want is on its way to me. I’m not going to settle for half of what I want, part of what I want, or the potential to be what I want. I want what I want and I’m not going to waste valuable, inner work time, Factimeing someone’s son. Let me clear that up, I’ll still facetime someone’s son, but not if the session is filled with small talk. I’ll still facetime someone’s son, but not if I know I’m supposed to be journaling, or manifesting Imani in another dimension. That’s insanity and that is not self-love.

So to all of the men pursing me, know that I won‘t blow your phone up and I probably won’t contact you because I am not codependent on our interaction. If you want me, you will mirror me and I will NOT tell you what I am doing. Whether you stay or go matters not. I am content with my own company.

I honestly couldn’t type those words and mean it just last month. I was still fostering desperate energy by being sad that I’m STILL not satisfied with the type of love being presented to me at the moment. It wasn’t until I took a spiritual bath and changed my intentions for this moon cycle that my energy shifted from desperate to empowered. YOU ARE ALL YOU NEED. If you are in denial of this fact you are probably someone who can’t take trips on their own or even go out alone. YOU ARE CODEPENDANT and you need to HEAL.

Sending Love & Light,

Imani Blaize


Charlotte, NC, USA