Good evening sis,
Just wanted to piggy back off of last week’s post when we spoke of the “post break up snap back”. After making this post I got a ton of women in my inbox letting me know what they were dealing with so I compiled a short list of things for you to remember while you are getting over the love you thought you’d have forever.
What’s for you is going to be for you and what ain’t… AIN’T
I know right now it’s hard for you to believe this but this break up happened FOR you sis. If it wasn’t supposed to happen it would not have happened and I’d suggest you not do a bunch of extra nonsense to try to get him back. The universe is always working for you so calling him and texting him about why the break up is a bad idea, is a bad idea. You’re truly just blocking your own blessing after a certain point and after that point, you can now blame the hurt on YOU, not him. He already made it clear where he stands and it’s NOT with you. If he is not going to fight for the relationship, show you that he cares enough to stay through the hard parts, and make sure you aren’t crying yourself to sleep at night, he is NOT the one. The one for you wouldn’t dare allow you to feel what you’re feeling right now and if he did, he’d do everything to tell you how sorry he is and/or to fix it. Did he do that ? No? So what are you crying over exactly ? Is it the fact that now you’ve got to start over? Is it the rejection? What is it? If you don’t know the answer right now that’s okay, that’s what this time is for now. Even though he wasn’t the one, this time you’ve been given back is yours to help you manifest the one if you use this time wisely.
USE THIS TIME WISELY
In my last post I talked about how I went and threw it back for someone and went on a few dates but I need you to understand that that is NOT how you handle things forever. For me, having someone else pleasure me just reminded me that it was possible to have great sex again. My ex used to make me feel like he was the only one capable of making me feel anything but honey let me tell you something. THAT AIN’T TRUE. I’ll give it to him, the boy made me feel amazing but it was the same thing each time. Foreplay, sex, sleep, no spontaneity unless we were off the Henny. Post breakup however, I found out EXACTLY what I had been missing when I got to experience something like sex in the shower. My ex and I had never done anything like that and here I am post break up on some 50 shades of grey type scenery having my body taken care of in the sweetest way. Now all of that was fun and all but it served it’s purpose which is why I’m in a space now where I don’t feel it necessary to let a man inside of me for pleasure. Us women make really bad decisions when we are deprived of sex or at least feel we are. My spiritual journey has taught me so many different ways to release my sexual energy now so until I find the man worthy again, these walls are closed for maintenance. I cannot just be out here letting Tom, John, and Daquan all up inside of me because I’m trying to fill a void. It doesn’t matter how much money they spend on me,how many crystals they pick out for me, or how many beautiful paragraphs I receive, it doesn’t mean I should exchange sacred energy with them. You gotta realize that sis. A lot of why you’re feeling so attached to him is from the sex. He really wasn’t that great, the sex was. If you want your next relationship to be the one where you guys can meditate, dance, exchange trauma stories, let each other in, AND have great sex, you have to hold out and go within. There is truly no way around it and after awhile God is not going to keep telling you that the nice way and you’ll have to learn the hard way which is why you’re … here.
YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING
After my break up a lot of what bothered me was this fear of never finding someone as attractive as my ex but I quickly realized that it doesn’t matter how fine someone is, the way they treat you makes them hideous. For a little while it really got to me knowing he had decided to get back in school and really start taking his life as seriously as I do. For a minute I was thinking.. “damn Imani, if you had of waited a little longer he would have been your perfect man”. But spirit helped me to understand that NO, it doesn’t matter what degree he gets or what titles he takes on, he still cheated on you even though he didn’t respect you enough to admit it, he still took pleasure in causing you pain in public, and he still walked away when you thought you needed him the most. Those are the things I remind myself of whenever I start thinking I should take it easy on him and not write about my pain. Last week he text me angrily because I spoke my truth and I ALMOST deleted my words to respect his “privacy” until I thought… screw him and his privacy. If he didn’t wanna get written about then he should’ve thought twice before stepping on my heart. No more consideration will be given for someone not considering me and that’s how you should think. If he ends up with someone new. GOOD FOR HIM. If he gets even finer. GOOD FOR HIM. If he levels up and starts making real money. GOOD FOR HIM.
What you have to do is train yourself to not feel like he was the best you ever had because I promise he’s not. Your best is yet to come and if you’re so busy worried about him all you’re going to do is manifest another him and why on earth would you want to do that? I know it’s hard looking at all of these “couple goals” on social media but trust me , if any of those women you’re jealous of aren’t chasing their own dream they are not goals but sisters of yours that you should pray for. Those women didn’t get the chance to find themselves and have probably become lost in what they “think” is the thing that makes them happy not even realizing that they don’t KNOW what makes them happy. If a man not texting back or seeming interested in you for a day has the power to move you emotionally,you have not mastered love of self or even your emotions.
Most women aren’t as strong as you sis. They are out here forcing what ain’t only to get left with what IS the harsh truth later on in life because they just were tooooooooo afraid to be alone. Don’t be her. Don’t be me who had to learn the hard way either. Be a strong, loving woman of God who is going to do everything within her power to bounce back from this. This moment in time does not define you and if you don’t believe me just think about Ciara and all that she went through to get to her husband. Stay patient. Trust the process. He’s coming.
Sending Love & Light