I’ve got a challenge for you sis.
Ask yourself this question the next time you start to scroll your time line…“why do I follow this person?”
Seriously, following people just to follow them is NOT self care and let me tell you why.
How many people do you follow make you want to be a better person? How many people make you wish you were someone else? Here’s the thing, although these questions seem to be the same, they are not. You see, someone who makes you want to be a better person makes you look at the flaws within in yourself but they don’t make you feel BAD for being who you are. Someone who makes you wish you were someone else makes you envious of the life that they have because somehow after watching so many of their stories and posts they’ve convinced you that they are better than you. News flash, THEY ARE NOT.
Here is a list of the type of followers you should try to stay away from
1. Fake Celebrities
These type of users use the amount of followers, comments, and likes that they have to convince themselves that they are actually a celebrity. You’ll only get a response from them if you seem “cool” enough and they will only like your picture if your outfit or hair is on FLEEK.
2.Non Supportive Friends
I get that not everyone is going to like your pictures but your FRIENDS definitely should. If your friends are under your story views but never under your pictures as likers, guess what? They count as ghost followers, and what’s the point of having those?
We all have our days, but negative nancy is the follower who is ALWAYS talking about something that isn’t positive. They are always talking about the issues they have with so and so and never seem to be making real strides towards growth.
4.City Girls, Cardi’s, & Kash Dolls that lack BALANCE
No shade to the City girls or Cardi B because at the end of the day they are Black women doing their THANG and just like them, I can get ratchet and I’m about my money too. I just don’t find it beneficial for money, sex, and designer to be all that’s drilled into your subconscious at ALL times. At some point, you need a balance. Following a bunch of women who are committed to that lifestyle will eventually take a toll on your brain and after a while you’ll find yourself buying, doing, and being things you wouldn’t be without the influence of women whose only concern seems to be money.
Unfollowing these types of people will cause you to stop feeling as if you are not good enough.
There was a time when I followed almost everyone I went to school with simply because they were old college mates until one day I realized how detrimental this was to my mental health. I was literally getting online and comparing my strengths and weaknesses to other people who for all I know could have been lying about who they POSTED to be. I had to realize that these people I was trying to change for to be “liked” were not benefiting my existence in any way. How dare I tell myself I’m not good enough as I am because followers I felt like were “it” or “goals” weren’t acknowledging me anymore?
Post college I had to get over my prom queen syndrome which is basically getting used to being the girl that everyone likes. I started to find myself through self-love and isolation and once I began to shed the fake Imani who was no longer into weave and trends, I began to lose the interest of people who used to faithfully like my pictures and content and when I stopped getting the likes I started to question who I was. Depression kicked in like MOTHA and I started to become bitter and suicidal as I continued to follow people who just didn’t make me feel good about myself.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not their fault I was insecure. But it was my fault that I allowed myself to keep putting my brain in that space. One day I just went for it and unfollowed every single person who doesn’t interact with me, respond to me, or acknowledge my content on social media and I’ve felt better ever since. I no longer have to see that they’ve liked someone else’s content and not mine, or that they’ve ignored my genuine attempt at just being a good person, or that they purchase from my platform, post about other platforms, but not mine. I no longer have to put myself in a position to question myself because I love myself and so do the people who I follow (unless they don't know me and even then after a while they grow to love me). The people who follow me make me feel like I am fulfilling my life purpose and those are the ONLY people I care about.
You should scroll your timeline and think "wow she's strong, go sis !, she's so inspiring, wow I didn't know that". NOT, "I wish my hair looked like hers, why didn't she respond to my dm?, why doesn't she like my posts?, what am I doing wrong?"
So I say all of this to tell you that if your followers aren’t benefiting your mental in some way, click that unfollow button. Who cares if they unfollow you back? Follow someone more like … YOU.
Remember, if nobody else told you today…
I love you,