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Pay Your OWN Bills

I’m not really sure who came up with this whole, “your Dad pays my bills” attitude but I’d like to meet he or she. Ladies, seriously? Come on now. I know that it makes you feel empowered to think like a man but honestly, it’s not cute to ACT like one. Now I don’t do gender roles so when I say act like one I’m just speaking in terms of attitude.

It’s not in our nature as women, QUEENS, to be uncaring and conniving. I know that City Girls, Cardi B, and the likes have most of us thinking that scamming men out of their money is it but trust me, it AIN’T. Men have become hip to the fact that most girls just want money and that’s why a lot of us have been getting P L A Y E D. Now most men lure you in with the chains and the section at the club only to get what he wanted from you in exchange for what from you? Your body because you thought that at least out of all of this you’d get a bag? Was it worth it? I didn’t think so.

“But I think like a man, I don’t get played, so how am I still getting played”, you ask? It’s because guys already know the kind of girl you are. They don’t have to get to know you and if they did, they probably wouldn’t because most scum bags are only interested in one dimensional women anyhow. Are you one dimensional? I didn’t think so.

Acting promiscuous isn’t the only way to cause a man not to see you as ‘valuable’. Acting SHALLOW does the job too. “Where the cash at?” type women, are not going to attract a wholesome man because a wholesome good man is looking for a wholesome good woman.

This mindset that all men are good for are trips, money, and sex when you feel like it is one that becomes developed from years of resentment and unclosed books. Trauma has a HUGE impact on the way that we live the rest of our lives and if we aren’t aware of it ultimately we can ruin our lives. Do you really want to be the old woman with 10 cats?

Men do not define us as women, but a good man is a GOOD THING and whoever lied to you and told you it wasn’t LIED. Hell, look at Cardi B, one of the leaders of the “fuck niggas get money army”! Even she is MARRIED but still gets her own money. Stop letting these trends fool you. Men are NOT responsible for paying our bills and if you think that way sis, its time to get real and GET YOUR OWN BAG of money. A real man wants a REAL woman and a real woman does not rely on the help of a man. She most definitely doesn't sell herself out in process of being lazy either. SoulSistas are STRONG women who nurture all while getting our OWN bag. If you are able to be honest with yourself and realize that you have adopted the wrong kind of thinking its okay, you are not your past mistakes.

Take the time you need to HEAL so that you can be YOURSELF and attract a good man. Stop acting so "hard to get" with your fake hard self. Stop playing sis. You KNOW you want to be loved.

In the meantime, I love you and thanks for reading.


Imani Blaize


Charlotte, NC, USA