Charlotte, NC, USA

Letters to God Series – Letter # 2

January 16, 2019

 

What’s good OG? I just have to start off by saying that you’re mad funny. Every time I start thinking I know it all YOU decide to hit me with the okie doke.  Last year I wrote you a letter and wanted to wait a little while before I wrote you another one because well… I wanted to have something to write. You really are transforming me from the inside out and although the ride has been quite rocky, this time I’m LOVING the ride. I thought I started to get things figured out you know? I got over the loss of a friendship that I was letting define me and I thought that I even found a new best friend. I got over the heart break of that relationship that was haunting me and I even thought my new guy and I would stay picture perfect. You let me have my fun with them and you even let me open up a business with this girl that I thought would be my bridesmaid one day. Why though? I didn’t even see that mess coming you know? Her taking my whole hustle and running with it? When were you going to give me a little nudge of warning? Never? Yeah I see ! It’s okay though because I figured the lesson out and it’s not “trust no one”, it’s  “trust your instincts”.  I had a few signs that shorty was a selfish piece of work but I ignored it because desperate Imani wanted sooooooo badly to be able to say she had a best friend, meanwhile she had a swagger jacking LEACH who was soon going to show her ass (excuse my language but you know I curse).   I want to say thank you for that though. Thank you thank you thank you ! If she didn’t leave the business I would have still been holding my tongue and not executing ideas for my platform that kept getting shut down by her. I now have free reign to do whatever I want and I get to keep alllllllll of the money. I was so happy about this until recently though when I saw a few people posting her “new business”.

I just want to know why you’re letting her do this. I know it isn’t something I should focus on and I’m honestly doing a good job of not doing so but since we are here right now, let’s talk about it. Why didn’t you just give her the thought to stick to what she came into the business with? Why did you give her the thought to take what I was doing before even letting her in on this hustle and capitalize off of it and not even care? Why did she have to turn out to be so…. CUT THROAT? I mean the gyal didn’t even apologize for her obvious wrong doing but I know that’s all a part of this sick little lesson I’m supposed to be learning. Everyone doesn’t have the heart that I do, obviously. I would never ever do that to someone I claimed to love and care about. Okay, we are off of her though because I can feel myself getting angry and I told myself that every time I start to feel a way I’d immediately fix that feeling. There is no reason for me to be thinking about someone who is not thinking about me. But God, I know I shouldn’t ask this but uhmmm could you speed up her karma please? Thanks

God, this temper of mine. Can we paleeeessseeee get a handle on this in 2019? I mean seriously? I’ve been blocked, cursed out, and probably have someone putting a hex on me for my foul comments about their existence. I keep feeling justified for talking to people like they are beneath me when I’m not. When I’m hurt it’s like I just lose all control over what comes flying out of my mouth or what I type but I cannot keep living my life like this. Thank you for helping me to have that meeting with my Father for Christmas. Only  you know how much I needed that. That’s partly why I want to be a softer woman these days. I’ve had some time to speak with the other half of me and I realize now why I have no tolerance for other people’s unjustified nonsense. Even though I don’t have the tolerance, that doesn’t mean that I have to let it be known or that I even have to do something about it. Along with meeting my Father and sister I met my NEICE. She’s a big part of why I want to be a softer woman. I have to be the best example for her as her aunt and I don’t want her to have to say one day, “ my aunt don’t take ish from nobody and neither do I”… no. Her aunt DOES take mess from people now. She accepts people for who they are and she removes herself from situations she doesn’t want to be in in a CALM and PEACEFUL manner.

Okay, on to this man I call my soulmate. What’s the deal? Are we gonna get married? Am I wasting my time? I left a few months ago and I thought it would be for good but somehow we found our way back into each other’s lives and our love is just so strong. I’d literally do anything for him accept lose myself so that’s why I’m asking these questions because I’m tired. I’m tired of falling head over heels for men who switch up on me like the light bill during winter. I really think he’s the one though, he never really let me leave when I did and I just don’t think I’ll ever find someone who KNOWS me the way that he does. We are doing really well ever since I put my foot down about the things I wasn’t happy with so just give me a sign that I made the right decision by going back. It’s not as though I was forced. I went back because I wanted to but you know me and how blind to the truth I can be sometimes when it comes to love. That’s my husband though, I know it. You wouldn’t send me another idiot at this point in life, or would you?

Thank you for forcing me to finally get serious about this mental health counseling degree! Spring 2019 it’s on and poppin and I couldn’t be more excited. It feels amazing to have had everything fall into place exactly as they should . Imani Blaize, author of young adult novel Faith, children’s book ‘SimplySoulSistas’,mental health counselor , and owner of SimplySoulSistas LLC. I’m  becoming HER and I have you to thank. Thank you for my name which means faith because without it I’d be nowhere.  It’s been such a rough 8 + months making just above minimum wage and trying to make ends meet while also trying to move on my own and being scared shit about it.  You changed all of that for me and all I had to do was keep the faith in you and keep doing the work to get what I was asking for. Now I make enough money to handle EVERYTHING! My God, you always come though and show out. I’ll keep pushing and listening to you, just keep guiding me.

 

I love you,

  1. Imani

Please reload

Recent Posts

November 1, 2019

Please reload

Archive

Please reload

Tags

I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!

Please reload