You HAVE to gain the ability to get real with yourself if you're going to make it through your 20's still sane, and I mean REALLY real. Why are you really feeling depressed? Is it because you lack something? Let me guess, money? I can't speak for all people my age because some of you really do have it all together with your 9-5 but for the rest of us out here on struggle land, lack of money accounts for almost 80% of why we feel like we are depressed in most cases. It's HARD constantly focusing on how you're going to pay for this sometimes wondering how you're going to make it to friday with $50 to your name for the next 2 weeks but it's even harder when you MAKE it hard and you know that you're making it hard. You sit on instagram all day constantly comparing your life to the next person's life, unknowingly telling yourself that you can't do certain things because that's not what the people on your timeline are doing.
I don't know how many times I have said to myself, my 9-5 is not cutting it, I need a side hustle to live the way I want to live right now. I've created a number of side hustles but they all were things that were "easy" for me and they never stayed steady. These 20 somethings are teaching me that life will NEVER be easy and as long as I keep trying to do things the "easy" way, I will continue to be stressed about things I really don't have to be stressed about. We are given every resource needed to make life easier on ourselves yet, we bypass them because sometimes they aren't convenient. For example, I told myself that after graduating college I would never serve again. In my head, college graduates didn't serve. If anybody saw me serving they would assume that I don't have it together and that I'm not utilizing my degree but let's just be real, WHO THE HELL CARES ?!
Looking back on this train of thought I could literally slap myself for the amount of months I struggled for no reason simply because I felt like I was ''too good" to pick up a part time serving job. Serving might not be the ideal part time job but serving gives me exactly what I need as a side hustle. When you work a 9-5 and you're looking for another form of income, what better form of income than CASH in hand every day that you are working? I live in Charlotte North Carolina, a city where people are constantly going out, I'm bound to make money yet I was so worried about what others would think about me serving tables, that I completely ruled the idea out for a very long time. The funny thing is, when you're desperate for greatness God will force you to humble yourself in order for you to appreciate your greatness and your journey to greatness.
When you take the time to really focus on what's wrong you realize that everything that is wrong is within you. A major part of what seems like depression is misguided jealousy. Although it may not always be your intention, constantly comparing yourself to others will drive you crazy. So what if her parents pay her bills, so what if that person landed a job you think you should have, your journey is YOUR journey for a reason. I'm learning everyday how unpredictable life is and how it really is all about the choices you make. Why struggle to pay bills and handle emergencies because I don't want to work 2 jobs when I can boss up, get real, and get in my bag? Life is not always going to go as planned and although it was in my plan to be able to work a 9-5 and handle life while building my business and chasing my dreams, that's not how things are supposed to go right now and it wasn't until I just accepted where I am in life, that I was able to swallow that tough pill.
At this age, everything you're dealing with and going through is meant for you so embrace it! When I graduated college I just knew that I would be teaching, pursuing my masters, and living easy as I worked towards being a college proffesor. Within these past 2 years, life has hit me hard and although it knocked me down, I got back up with a vision and a plan. I realized that I'm not ready for what I want to do, that's why God won't give me the opportunity to do it yet, no matter how many times I tell him that he should. I'm a writer and a motivator and I thank God for these obstacles because without them I would be doing something I don't really want to do just because that's what other people think I should be doing. When you stop seeking validation from other people about where you should be in your life, you gain the freedom to move freely without fear of judgement.
I believe in my vision of being an author and teaching others how to express themselves through writing and I know that as long as I stay focused on my personal journey I can make it happen. If that means I have to work a 9-5 and a part time job while pursuing my masters that's just what I will have to do. I won't get what I want without sacrifice and struggle and I've finally come to terms with that after 2 years post graduation. I realize now that NOBODY really cares about what you're doing, folks are too busy thinking about their own struggles and if they do take time to talk about you, it's to take the spot light off of them for a second. I will never ever tell myself I shouldn't do something because of what others will think ever again. I will plan, put my head down, make the sacrifices needed to obtain my goal, and tell the story of how I crossed the finished line in a few years.
If you're feeling depressed take a minute to really think about what has you down. If it's a feeling of being lost and worried be happy, this means you have a fresh canvas to really paint the picture of the life you really want. Make a list of all of the things that you can do to get yourself out of the situation that you're in and do them without fear of judgement. If the list includes things you don't want to do, choose those things. The hardest parts of life are the parts of life that you get to look back on and brag about getting through. You are strong, you are capable, and you will achieve your dream life. Take it slow and when you start to feel overwhelmed just ask God to bless these 20 somethings !
I love you,