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What's She Got That I Don't?

Have you ever asked yourself the question in the title? Have you ever caught yourself singing SZA's lyrics just a little TOO hard? If you've ever been the other girl and wondered why it seems you will never be chosen , I have a word that might help answer your question... s u b s t a n c e. The definition of substance is "a particular kind of matter with uniform properties". Translation, if you lack substance you might as well be empty on the inside. Do you want to date someone who is empty on the inside? No? Well neither does he.

It's more than looks when you are looking for something longterm. It might seem like the girl with all of the Instagram likes of almost naked pics is winning but in reality, she is not. These kind of females are only sought after for one thing and one thing only, sex. The girl who opens her legs for any guy who gives her attention is NOT a winner. What more can you bring to the table besides a tight sex game and a dress game on fleek? Cool, you own Gucci and Chanel and your hair stays laid, what's the last book you read? Pretty ain't enough sis, a guy that's worth it is going to be looking for the key word in this post, s u b s t a n c e.

Sometimes you have to go inward and learn things about your self in order to gain s u b s t a n c e. It is only after this time period that you have figured out what you actually care about , making you a lot less superficial if you've ever been told that before. Being called superficial has never been a compliment so check yourself if you think you might be exhibiting the signs. A woman of substance is a woman of power, a woman of positive influence and a woman of meaning. To be branded a woman of substance is one of the greatest compliments one can give a woman that wants to be an “influential” female (Strong Women, Strong Girls). Each and every one of us is a women of substance, it's just up to each woman to find it within herself. I hope you take the time to think about what it is that you bring to the table. If you find that there isn't much, it might be time to go inward. See you next Tuesday !

I love you,

Imani Blaize


Charlotte, NC, USA