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Anxiety is Not an Attitude

Anxiety is something only someone dealing with it can understand. This post is for the women who have confided in a loved one or are trying to figure out how to confide in someone concerning her anxiety. I will start off by being as real as possible when I say , NOBODY WILL REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH AND VERY FEW WILL ACTUALLY TRY. The truth is if you have not been diagnosed with depression or bipolar disorder all other forms of mental instability don't matter to the average person. I know this from experience because when I confided in the people I love about what I was going through the only person that showed me they were there for me was my mother at the time. Everyone else thought I was making something up just to be able to play the victim but they didn't know that I battle with my brain every single day. They didn't know that I had suicidle thoughts almost every day and had come very close to the actual act on more than one occasion. After being diagnosed with clinical anxiety I was better able to understand and explain what I deal with to people and my relationships since learning about what I deal with have been nothing short of amazing. This post is not a cry for help or an attempt at obtaining sympathy. This post is a wake up call to every woman battling anxiety. I want you to know that you can and WILL get through this. There are just a few things you'll need to make yourself aware of.

1. If you are not a white woman, please forget about any of your peers even taking you seriously. There is an unspoken rule that Black women are supposed to be strong and just "handle" it. This is not true and even if the world makes you feel like it is, it is imperative that you are tender with yourself even when nobody else is.

2. You need to make peace with your anxiety so that you can start working on how to fight it. Anxiety is not a condition that you have to live with forever, I promise, however you do have to be honest with yourself about what you are going through in order to take the right steps to combat it.

3. Remember to RELAX, it could be so much worse!

I'm sure you've heard the term, stress kills but do you believe it to be true? I do. Research and science literally shows that stress kills. It kills more Black women in particular. That means you better start becoming grateful for being alive like ... yesterday sis. Have you ever had a nightmare and woke up thinking, "I am so glad that was not real" ? Think back to how horrible you felt during your nightmare and how relieved you felt when you woke up. The feeling you have when you wake up from a nightmare should be the feeling you have each time that you are faced with a problem. Each time that something unfortunate happens tell yourself, "it could be worse". Doing this helps you to put things into perspective and realize that your life is not as tragic as you are making it out to be.

Anxiety is real, but it does not have to be your life. Dive into wellness. You have to make taking care of yourself your priority. Whether you practice yoga, meditation, or aromatherapy you MUST tend to your brain and those thoughts that seem to take over EVERYTHING. There are a few tools here on the website that can speak to women who battle anxiety. You can reach out to me about ANYTHING. I have been through every stage of my anxiety and I thank God for giving me the strength to begin to overcome it. See you next Tuesday !

I love you,

Imani Blaize


Charlotte, NC, USA