Charlotte, NC, USA

Social Media Does Not Dictate your Relationship

February 7, 2018

How many of you think that if he doesn't post you, you don't matter? Before I decided to grow up and see things for what they really are, I was that girl. I can honestly say that I made my past relationships harder with my constant comparing to other relationships. I wanted so bad to be that girl who could take a million pictures with my boyfriend and not have to force it or sneak them. Before finding my soulmate I was in relationships that made me feel like I was the only one who wanted the world to know I was happy. Looking back on things I realize that part of that was true but a lot of that thought was not true. I realize now that as long as I compare my relationship to the relationship goals I see on social media, I will never be happy. 

 

Tonight's post came from a small argument I started with my boyfriend last week. I was being nosey one night last week and noticed that my boyfriend decided to delete all of our pictures from his instagram except for one. I couldn't understand why he did this and I was PISSED. The first thing I thought was, "I have a million pictures of you on my instagram and now you only have one?!" I didn't take the time to listen to his logic about how he just deleted a number of pictures and how it's not like I'm not up there at all. To me, one picture of me on his instagram was not enough. People are gonna think I'm stupid and my man is trying to play me. All thoughts that are RIDICULOUS when you really take the time to think about it. My boyfriend had explained to me before that before we became one he had NEVER posted anyone on his instagram but his boys. He genuinely didn't want people in his business but he posted me because he wanted to give me the assurance I needed, with my insecure self ! (shakes head). 

 

 

I stayed mad like an idiot for 2 days after until I meditated on the matter and realized that the things I was mad about were extremely stupid. Just because I want to show off my handsome honey to anyone who will look, doesn't mean he has to be the same way. I had to realize I'm a girl and we are really different from men.  I always told myself I wanted a guy who will show me off and he does that. From the very beginning he would bring me around his friends and he always makes me feel like he is proud to call me his girlfriend. I should not be tripping because he deleted a picture even if the picture had over 300 likes (if you're reading this i'm still a little bothered Kenta!) I give you that example to tell you that if you are a girl who dictates her man's love for her from the amount of pictures he posts or snaps he makes with you in it, STOP IT. 

 

I don't agree with not being posted at all simply because we live in an age where everything is lived out on camera. If your guy tells you he does not wish to post your face on social media you do not blow up, you give him another option. Make him let the world know he is NOT single AT LEAST. If he has a problem doing that then you may have a problem but if he doesn't hesitate to let twitter/ instagram know that he is taken you may want to just ease up on trying to get him to post a bunch of pictures of you or put you in every single snap. Those couples who post each other every other day might be happy and they may not be happy, but it's your job to stop caring and comparing.  Live YOUR life and be in YOUR happy relationship. If you don't you will always be miserable in the end and you will never be satisfied. See you next Tuesday !

 

 

I love you sis, 

 

Imani Blaize 

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