Charlotte, NC, USA

How to be a FRIEND

January 17, 2018

I'm going to begin tonight's post with these words...SISTERHOOD IS IMPORTANT. So often we convince ourselves that we don't need female friends, that all females are fake, or that male friends are easier to have. All of those things are so far from the truth. Think about it, can you talk to to your male friends about why your period is lasting longer than usual this month? Can you ask your male friend how he stopped crying over his ex? Maybe, but for the most part there really are certain things that you just cannot talk to males about. 

 

All females are not fake and you do actually need a few genuine ones in your life believe it or not. Of course you can talk to God but it truly does something for your soul when you are able to vent to another female who understands what it is like to actually be a female. Think about this, your vibe attracts your tribe. So if you are expecting females to be fake then that is exactly the kind of female that you will continue to attract. Trust me, I know all too well about this. I also know that sometimes the problem is actually YOU and that sometimes you need to reevaluate whether or not you are even a good friend. Do you struggle with maintaining healthy relationships with other women? Let's go over a few tips on how to actually BE A GOOD FRIEND. 

 

 

1. You have to GIVE sometimes

 

So often all we do is TAKE in the friendship. 

 

EX: The only time you text or call your friend is when you have a man problem. You never call to simply check on your friend and you barely pretend to care. 

 

You may not notice and your friend may not tell you, but you are pushing her away. She is going to stop seeing you as a friend and more of a "case" because that really is the only time she hears from you, when you have a case going on. A way to get better with this is simply remembering to text your friends at least once a week with a simple, "Sis, how you feeling?"

 

2. You have to LISTEN sometimes

 

In order for any relationship to grow you have to be willing to grow with that person. This means that if you disagree and the person you want a friendship with has given you feedback on yourself, although you may not like it you should listen to the feedback to avoid the same issue. This was my issue with my past friendships, my friends told me I was extremely rude and I used to just pass it off as "that's just me, take it or leave it", and they surely LEFT IT. I learned that my attitude did need an adjustment, and when I came to terms with that all of my relationships got better. 

 

3. Make sure your friends know that you believe in them

 

We are millennials and this means that a lot of us are taking on the journey of entrepreneurship or simply finding ourselves and our passion. If your friend has taken on a new project SUPPORT THEM. It makes no sense to tell someone you love them if you do not show it. If your friend just launched a business, take that $20 you were going to spend on brunch that week and buy a product from your friend's business. If you don't have money remember that you are NOT too good to flood your timeline with your friend's endeavor. Hype your friends like you hype these celebrities, these are the people that you will actually get to win with. 

 

 

By practicing these 3 small but big pieces of advice, you will notice your relationships become stronger. If you feel as if your relationships have been severed beyond compare, they probably have. This is going to be your time to figure out yourself. Being alone hurts, but it is necessary so take the time to be alone and figure out who you are, what is actually wrong with YOU. Once you do this, if any of your relationships are supposed to actually be, humble yourself and apologize for not being the best you that you can be to that person. If this person is supposed to be in your life they will forgive you and you both will be able to repair your broken relationship. Remember, don't force it because what is supposed to be will always be. Some people come into our lives as lessons whether it be good or bad and you just have to understand that some relationships just are not meant to last forever. See you next Tuesday night !

 

I love you sis,

 

Imani Blaize 

 

 

 

 

 

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